the great huge xmas post.

i decided this year i was not cooking for my brother nor going to his house, so since he has refused to apologize for what he said to me in October, i stood firm by this decision and did not go. i cooked surf and turf at home instead and had quite possibly the best christmas ever.

( christmas + pics )

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Thank you slashgeek86 for the card--it got here yesterday/Christmas Eve. Omg the Dalek patch was freaking cool!!! I've never seen anything like it! We just don't get Doctor Who stuff here--thank you for thinking of me.


For Christmas I got an iPhone from the parents and Simon and Theodore beanie babies from mom. Dad tried to steal them, lol.

I bought myself Charmed seasons 5 and 7 on sale at Walmart--now I have the complete series and will finally see Piper have Wyatt. I mustve missed that episode five times on tv. :)


Off to bake cookies before Catherine Tate comes on BBC America--can't wait! She's so funny and I've never seen a whole episode of hers--on clips on YouTube.


Have a Great Day LJ World!!!

Closed Door: The Last Tour
Part 150 ---- Part A
By gal8028

Anna: “Don't. Don't stop loving me. I can see it draining out of you. It's me, remember? It was a stupid thing to do, and it meant nothing. If you love me enough you'll forgive me.” ~Closer

Closed Door Opening Credits "There for You" - A Ryonne Music Video "Making Memories of Us" - A Closed Door Music Video
Part 142 Part 143 Part 144 Part 145 Part 146 Part 147 Part 148 Part 149

( the overdue Closed Door 150 )

My dad totally got me an iPhone for Christmas! I'm posting from it now! OMG!!!!!!


Oh and it's snowing like hell outside! It's beautiful! We've got almost eight inches so far.


Off to trim the tree! Happy holidays!!!

And thanks dame_wilbur--I got your card!

i had quite possibly the worst day at work ever.

i subbed for algebra (ninth grade) at the high school where i applied to be a Librarian Assistant. those kids were so awful. they were awful awful awful. loud, disrespectful, throwing things, drawing on their desks--they were incorrigible. by the time the final bell rang, i wanted to crawl under the desk and hide.


the worst part of this whole situation is that i have to sub for this same teacher thursday and friday. his kids are awful. awful!


i hate teaching. i hate it so much. i don't like kids, i don't want to be a teacher. i hate subbing. it's not steady. for instance, today, tomorrow, and friday are the only days i will work this whole month. i won't get paid next payday because i couldn't get work and i won't get paid for these days this week until jan 8. i needed money for christmas. it's not fair.


i fucking hate subbing. i am not a teacher, i don't want to be one.


so yeah. i came home, feet hurting, beyond tired. took a hot shower and then watched Latter Days on LOGO. i went down and cooked dinner for the parents. was informed that i had to go to christmas dinner at my asshole brother's house even though he hasn't apologized for what he said in october that really hurt my feelings. i fucking hate christmas. we aren't a family--why the fuck do we have to pretend to be one for one goddamn day a year? what about the other 364 days?


and then i opened my email and found out that i didn't get the Librarian Assistant job i really really wanted and had an awesome interview for.


i told myself that i wouldn't cry if i didn't get it. yeah right.


i'm going to stay a worthless loser in a job she hates for the rest of my life. all that work in college was for nothing. all that money i have to pay back for what? nobody wants me. nobody'll give me a chance. i'm a good worker. why can't anyone see that?


i'm going to go cry in bed. this day has been so bad. so bad. and i didn't get the job. i wanted it so much. i've worked so hard all these years for nothing. fuck christmas. fuck hope. fuck dreams. they only make you cry in the end.